This is me!
I am a mother without a tribe..
I have always been very social, as a child, a teen and in-fact right up until I had my first daughter. I would use any excuse to go out with friends, for the day, for the night or even for the week ( beer, bikini’s & bed all day).
I have incredibly fond memories of those days, my friends and I had some great times. But… I was never part of a ‘girl group’, you know the ones, they’re the group of girls who have been bffs from braiding each others hair, to clubbing, to raising their babies & generally going through life together. When I was younger I didn’t really care, I had my bestie Kim and a few good chums and all was well, that was until I began the breeding process. To be honest, I never saw myself as a mother, or wife for that matter, but the moment I held that baby girl, everything changed.
Suddenly I was alone – hours on my own with only this tiny, squealing human for company, my new husband was working all day and I was living miles away from my friends, for the first time in my life, I craved a ‘girl group’ of my own.
wanted needed adult interaction. I needed it from women I knew and loved, women who knew me and my ‘story so far’ and would surely be a part of my ‘story to come’, But I just didn’t have people like this in my life. I have relocated a lot in my life, and I feel that it is because of this, that I have often moved on and left my friends behind. I am a woman who loves her own company, I enjoy being alone and I often crave the serene silence that it gives me, But when you have children, it just isn’t the same and it can be very lonely.
You see, I am not great at keeping in touch once I’ve moved on, and there is only so much chasing a person will do when the effort is not reciprocated.
I am, however, blessed to have 2 lifers, Kim and Kym ( seriously guys get a Kim/Kym in your life) who have never let me ‘move on’ and though we don’t talk everyday, they are always there for me and I love them completely, and will always do so. I do have a fair few friends, and they are all bloody lovely, we chat at school, we interact on social media and via text, but they are not my ‘Tribe‘, but they have tribes of their own. They go out drinking together, they celebrate together & they have been through life together, I sometimes look at them and wonder… when I see them together, am I jealous? do I wish I was part of that? do I wish my media was full of pics of me and my buddies still laughing together and having a ball? And the truth is YES, sometimes I do.
I mean look, I love to spend time with my husband & girls, with my parents and with my brother & his family, but the truth is, I all too often dream of what it would be like, to have those ‘Ride or die’ chicks in my life, to always have them there to lend an ear, to share the good times with & the bad, or to just have some damn good fun with.
For now though I remain a woman/mother without a Tribe, a lone Wolf if you will, and I guess that has to be OK, “FOR NOW“.
Motherhood is the most wonderful thing to experience and something not every woman has the chance/ability to do, but for those of us who have been blessed with children, it can be an incredibly lonely time, especially if you are doing it without the love and support of life long friends who are going through it all along with you.
Lovelies, as always I am grateful for you all.
Thanks for reading