Young mum vs Older mum

This maybe a little bit of a controversial post, but with 10 years between my girls, I wanted to share my experiences, both good and bad, of having a baby in my 20’s and a baby in my 30’s

Lets start with the pregnancy shall we!

I fell pregnant with my first daughter when I was just 22, and although I am aware that many Mums fall pg much younger, this felt very young ‘for me’. My husband was even younger at just 19, and looking back I think we may have been a little crazy ( OK a lot crazy ) but we decided to start trying for a baby only 6 weeks after we met, now don’t get all judgy, It felt right at the time. We got pg first time and we thought, rather stupidly, that all would be sunshine and roses, but that definitely was not the case.

I had no idea about healthy eating and so found that I literally ate ‘everything’ in sight, piling on way too many lbs than were needed to grow a baby, or horse for that matter. We were living and working in my parents pub, so with split shifts I didn’t rest much, my feet began to swell massively and I found that I had  high blood pressure ( check out my birth stories here ). I was, at that time terrified of hospitals and of course had to be admitted on more than one occasion for observations. I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy at all, and along with an excruciating 6 hour labour, (I know it may seem short, but it was an induced labour, and if you’ve been induced then you’ll know what I mean) I do not have happy memories of that time.

OK so I’ve rambled a bit…

With raising a child & living with parents as well as having no car or money, my life went very quickly from social to hermit. I never my baby never slept , and I breast-fed on demand for a solid 8 months. I somehow escaped crushing post natal depression, but had some baby blues for sure, I was totally in love with my baby girl, she was a joy, but feeling nothing but tired and tired of having nothing was taking its toll. I was a little bit more superficial back then, I wanted to buy nice things & to decorate a nursery, I felt tormented and unhappy when I just could not afford the latest ‘must haves’ in the baby mags. It wasn’t all doom and gloom though, I regained my figure quickly ( thanks booby feeding ) and loved parading my very beautiful baby around, she was healthy and happy and after all, that is what truly matters.

FF many painful years of secondary infertility and tragic miscarriage later ( read my story here )

We fell pg with baby girl no 2!

Now I’m not sure if it was due to me being older or not, but at 33, I felt calmer this time round. I ate well, filling up on healthy and nourishing food. I could identify what my body needed, and when it needed to rest. I walked a lot and I wore clothes that flattered my neat little bump, I felt great. I was cautious at my midwives appointments incase she found that my blood pressure was high again this time, but it wasn’t, I maintained a healthy weight and I felt great.

 

As we had our own house now, I was relaxed and was free, financially, to buy the baby things I had longed for in my first pregnancy. In my last month of pregnancy, my midwife Maxine, identified that I had SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) which wasn’t nice at all, but I was so elated throughout, I coped with it and rested when I needed to.

Due to my previous labour being so awful, I opted to try hypno-birthing, a friend of mine was a practitioner and offered her services for free {thanks Kym} and it really worked wonders on my anxiety and fear. (I highly recommend it if you are expecting.)

At 39 weeks I woke in the night with mild cramps, after a few – I grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen and began to jot down the time and length of each cramp, I hadn’t experienced spontaneous labour, and thought it might be Braxton hicks, but as I wasn’t certain, I waned to note them down.

This tailed off and I had them on and off all of the following day. In the evening they started to amp up… I calmly breathed them through and didn’t feel an ounce of worry.

My husband suggested that we make a trip to the birthing centre to get checked our as it was only 10 mins away and our maternity hospital ( 35 mins away ) told us that ‘I sounded OK’ and would probably be sent home as they were busy. Thank goodness we did, I arrived there as I was ready to push, we were the only ones there, my husband, 2 midwives, me and my soon to be daughter. The room was dark, the mood was clam, and I was controlled, she was in my arms within 15 minutes of our arrival. I couldn’t have asked for more for my last pregnancy, it was everything I had hoped it would be, with a labour to match.

In my personal opinion, I found that having a more settled life and being more financially secure, as well as understanding my body more the 2nd time around, helped to make it a much more enjoyable experience. This is however not the case for everyone, we are all different and we all experience things differently, I know some of you may feel that being younger was better for you, feel free to leave a comment on how your pregnancy felt and how old you were!

Thanks for reading lovelies

T xx

 

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