Since I started breeding, I’ve always wanted a big family.
Imagine… family weekends together, big Sundays dinners, oh and the Christmases, with a house full of children laughing, I know it sounds a little cliché, but that really was my dream.
My children are my whole world, and I love being a Mum, It’s the only thing that I’m any good at to be honest. I always thought we’d have more than 2, but after being infertile for so long ( my infertility story ) we decided that it wasn’t going to be that way for us, that 2 was our lot and we should be happy and grateful for them.
As much as I love my girls, and as hard as it was to bring no 2 into the world, I do not want to be pregnant again. I would love more children, and had I been able to conceive sooner after my first, then maybe we would have had more biological children, but I feel too old to be pregnant again, I’m not far from 40 and I my condition is difficult and unpredictable, so the thought of caring for a new-born and suffering a post pregnancy flare up, makes me feel tired, not to mention the chances of complications for both mother and baby are increased, It would be selfish to risk taking myself away from my girls just to have another baby.
This all being said, the idea of adoption shouts to me, and it has done for some time.
There are so many children of all ages and differing needs out there, and all they want in this world, is a loving home, full of loving people to keep them safe and let them know how important they are, they are the children that I see in my future.
Adoption is relatively long and for all of the right reasons It’s a deeply invasive process, so I need to be sure that as a family, we are in the right place both emotionally, financially and geographically before we think about going ahead.
Our current home is too small for us now, so we need to move house and settle in as a family of 4 before we make any new additions to the brood, I need to offer a safe, stable and secure life for the child or not go ahead at all.
We have been through a lot this year as a family, so we need time to take stock, regroup and find our feet again, and when we get there, we can start planning our next chapter.